Just ONE MORE... thoughts of a woman one pound from goal

For some reason, the aspect ratio is off, and it's not letting me fix it at the moment.

(Dear Santa, please bring me Final Cut Pro for Christmas so I can make kick butt videos that look amazing. Mmmmkay, thanks.)

Introducing Merlin...

So I haven't really taken the time to properly introduce you all to our dog, Merlin. He's part boarder collie, part mutt, and big part pain in the butt. He's almost 8 months old. Such a big boy...

Seriously, I can't imagine having a different dog than him. He's bright, completely housebroken (only took us about 7 weeks) and cute as heck.

Our family is in love with him, and after watching this video, you might understand why. (Ok, so Puppy the cat isn't THRILLED, but she tolerates him.) (Kinda-sorta.) (Ok, not really at all...)

Not to mention he is my new running partner. Lands sake, how that dog loves to run!

So, like all members of our house, Merlin has some qwerks. And he couldn't be more precious.

Just take a look...

Bad Case of THE WANTS

So today in my inbox, I get this letter…

Hello Miss Charlie,

I have waited long enough to hit that little button up in the top right hand corner that says “Contact Charlie”! 

Did you fall off the blogging wagon my dear?
 

I’m 15 pounds down since September 26^th and you have been an inspiration…get back online would ya!?!?!? 
  

Jennifer

If you happen to be a fan of this blog, ya’ll can thank Jennifer for this post.

Have I fallen off the blogging wagon?

YES. But it’s not because I don’t want to blog. I do. However at the moment, finding time to get in some quiet time to really capture my thoughts has been difficult. Because life has been happening.

I’ve been volunteering at each of the kids’ schools at least once a week (usually more, though, cause these showchoirs keep me hopping!). I’ve been cleaning out closets and pulling out winter clothes (Cause it snowed here last week- YIKES).  I’ve been trying to get all the Christmas presents before the week of Christmas (a new personal record if I can pull it off…). And trying to reconnect with Matt after a long couple months of theatre obligations. (Sweeney Todd was fantastic!) I’m getting ready to launch a self-esteem building program for pre-teen girls in our area. (The “All About” Girls, which you will hear “All About” soon!)

And through all of this- I’ve not strayed far from the lifestyle principles I have adopted. Still not “dieting” but watching portion sizes, making more healthy choices than unhealthy ones, and only eating French fries every so often instead of every day.

AND…

I’m just 2 pounds from goal.

I saw 140.8 on the scale this week, so that’s all that’s left for me.

2 measly little pounds.

I know for a fact that even when I hit that goal, it’s not close to being over for me. After that, I’m really going to start focusing on trimming up the flabby parts of me, tightening my abs and arms, and continue training our dog, Merlin, for a cross country 5K. There’s much to do once those final 2 pounds are gone.

So it will be far from over.  This blog will continue, even after goal.

I know there are some of you out there that come here for inspiration, and I want to give it to you with a message that has been burning on my heart.

Here’s the thing. I have been busting my butt for the last 3 years (almost 4 now) to hit my goal. And that equals out to 25 pounds a year or so.

But it’s not the weight loss that has changed me so drastically.

It’s the inner strength I have gained. It’s learning who I am, where I need work, and getting my hands dirty in all the emotional crap that I had been carrying around.  It was about saying that it was JUST FINE to take some time for me.

Life before this massive undertaking was frustrating. I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t commit, I just couldn’t….

Every diet attempt I had ended up pretty much like this (which I find hysterical- this was in our local paper 2 days ago.)

I had all the tools right in front of me, but I was unwilling to use them.  

Could I have taken a walk? YES.

Could I have only eaten 2 cookies instead of an entire box? YES.

Could I have gotten my butt off the couch and made this change a lot sooner in my life? YES.

But I didn’t do any of those things because I didn’t WANT IT BAD ENOUGH.

There is no real secret to dieting, much to the billion dollar diet industry’s chagrin. There is no magic pill. There is no perfect diet plan.

There is only “DO YOU WANT THIS BAD ENOUGH TO GET UP AND GET IT?”

I knew there was still something inside me that was holding back, because before 2009 I didn’t REALLY want it. I wanted to explore the deepest parts of me, and then fix the broken bits. I was tired of living life as a victim of all that has happened in my life. And that victim mentality was the exact thing that was keeping me fat. But to get up and get it for myself was a daunting terrifying task. It scared the living crap out of me. What would life be like if there were no more excuses to hide behind? What if I was mentally, physically and emotionally at my best? Would people expect more from me than I was able to give? Would I disappoint folks? Would I gain all the weight back and be a miserable fat failure once again? I’d been down that road more times than I could count, and had no desire to head onto that path again.

AND YET…

I wanted to risk it. I wanted to start living dangerously. To take a huge chance- on myself. To find out what really is on the other side of being a slave to the scale and my baggage.

I finally wanted it enough. And that was when my life really began to change.

As I get closer and closer to goal, I find myself using less excuses about why I can’t accomplish things. Before I would always say yes to things, then be frantic when I couldn’t make them happen. But now, I am able to say NO- because this is not something I feel passionate about. And I don’t worry about pleasing people. I am only concerned with what is best for myself and my family primarily.

I know that I cannot change the world.

But because I WANTED IT, I was able to change MY WORLD.

What are the things that are holding you back? Fear? Frustration? Apathy? All of those things are excuses.

I’m going to come down hard here, and say this:

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT YOUR SITUATION IS. YOU CAN STILL LOSE WEIGHT IF YOU WANT IT BAD ENOUGH.

Our culture and society has taught us to blame our surroundings and our circumstances for the reason we don’t change. But I CRY SHENANEGINS. That is a load of malarkey.

Can’t exercise? You can still control what you eat.

Unable to buy tons of “healthy foods” because of finances? You can still count calories of the food you do have and watch portion sizes.

Lost weight before and gained it all back, leaving your confidence shaken? Then YOU, my friend, have the advantage, because you know that your body will respond positively to hard work and dedication.

If I could go back in time and change anything, I would have gone through this journey sooner. I wouldn’t have wasted 30 years of my life being complacent. But I can’t change the past, I can only change life from this moment forward.

So for you- don’t wait another day to start your own life transformation. Who cares if it’s Thursday and the weekend is coming? Nobody says your destiny can only change on a Monday. Or after the holidays. Destiny waits for no man. Or woman.

Your destiny can start today.

My question is this.

Do you really want it to?