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Monday, August 1
Cheer Up with Jack Sh*t
Today's message is brought to you by Jack Sh*t- America's leading health and snark blogger. I'm honored to say he's a friend and I have the pictures to prove it...
So enjoy this special message from Jack!!!
Let’s face it: we all have our bad days.
Our nothing-goes-right, everybody-sucks, I-hate-my-life days when we’d just like to curl up someplace and die. Or better yet, we’d prefer if everybody else would just curl up and die, preferably quietly yet in a bitter, painful manner. Maybe some kind of slow-acting poison…
However, living beneath these dark clouds simply isn’t healthy. How can we dig ourselves out of this rut and embrace all of life’s rich goodness and endless possibilities? How can we infuse ourselves with warm positive vibes and fresh constructive energy? I’m glad you asked…
• Dance like nobody’s watching you through your living room window; no… move a little bit to your left…
• Watch the movie Titanic backwards… then it’s about a magic ship that rises from the depths of the ocean and a handsome young man who miraculously comes back to life after drowning, then falls in love with a wonderful woman… and then gets off the ship and never sees her again. Dammit… that didn’t cheer me up at all!
• Make something fun–yet healthy–to eat, such as “Ants on a Log.” Simply smear peanut butter on celery stalks and then put some ants on top. Yummy!
• Make it a “Do Something Nice for Me” Day, and when I say “me,” I’m literally referring to myself. Come to my house and do something nice for me (preferably laundry).
• Take ownership of your job and work just as hard as you possibly can every single day (I’m sorry… that one was just for me… it always makes me bust out laughing every time I think about it… “work as hard as I can every day”… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)
• Imagine that you are breathing in happiness and farting out rainbows.
• Try a daily affirmation, such as “Affirmations aren’t really as stupid and silly as I think they are.”
• Be your own cheering section (cheerleading outfit required).
EDITORS NOTE: Matt and I totally have this one covered...
• Ask yourself “What can I do now to be more happy?” and then do that thing.
Is Jack Sh*t America’s greatest hero? That’s hard to say for certain, but what we do know is that he is chronicles his own weight-loss misadventures and explores the lighter side of lightening up at Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit.It should be noted that a Google search of the term “Jack Sh*t: America’s Greatest Hero” produces zero results.