Friday, February 4

Scared Straight (leg)

There is a PAIR of brand new jeans sitting on my bed. They are 9's.

And I'm terrified to try them on.

My 10's fit comfortably, but 9's? That's a whole new size for me.

A SINGLE DIGIT SIZE.

I have often wondered it this day would ever come at all. After the cake and cookie setbacks, the stalling, the plateauing, the emotions constantly pushing me to eat...

And I wondered how I'd feel about it. Lots of people have worn a 9 or smaller their enitre lives.

But me?

ME?

This is the girl who wore the 26W pants. Who one day (not that long ago, I might add) had a 50 inch waist. My waist was over 4 feet round. Now it's under 3 feet. And I'm not sure how I feel about that. Because in my head, I see other gals wearing size 9's, and wish I could look like them. I want to be their size. And I just might actually be.

But in my head- OH LORDY MY HEAD!

My head still tells me I'm barely out of that 26W. It tells me how much more work there is to do. How this isn't about just losing weight anymore. It's about becoming strong and healthy. FIT.

People are starting to tell me I'M THE THINNY. And it makes me want to scream at them "NO! I am exactly like you!" Because that has been who I was for as long as I can remember.

I've never been the thin one. Not once. 

But those jeans... those jeans keep calling out to me! Because why couldn't they fit? I've been working so hard for so long- walking around for days being sore every place on my body. Sweating out gallons of persperation, lifting, moving, running.

And it all boils down to this moment.

Am I really ready to be a size 9? Is my body becoming a size 9?

I could handle a snug 16.

I was thrilled about a 10!

But a 9?

Will they fit?

And how will I feel if they don't?

I suppose we are just going to have to find out.

video

36 comments:

The Incredible Shrinking Woman said...

I will post more pics later when I have better light. I promise.

Leaving Fatville said...

Love you.

Love your jeans.

Love your face when you get them on.

Love the fact that you're so damn happy.

*mwah*

Good job, your butt has officially been SHRUNK!

Katie J said...

Oh, Charlie! I am soooo sincerly happy for you. Watching the video made me cry (@ work) because I can only imagine what it must feel like.

I haven't worn a single digit size since I was a kid so it seems a long way off but you have proven it is achievable! Thanks for sharing with us.

Anonymous said...

Congrats! You've worked so hard! Enjoy those size 9s!!!
Cross

Amelia said...

You are so beautiful, way to make me cry first thing in the morning though! Oh yeah, and congratulations!!! :))

Sandy said...

Love this! You are nothing short of inspirational!

HOLY SH*T! A SIZE 9!!!

WAY TO GO!

Sandy said...

sorry, I just implied a swear word on your blog. But, I think that it applies today. :)

Jennifer Kay said...

People only see transformations like yours on TV, you are showing me that it happens in real life.

At 242 pounds, I feel so far from a size 9...

SO happy for you, inspiration!

Ami Howard said...

Cuz girl you're amazing, just the way you are. However, you are uber amazing in size 9's. You have just made me cry and smile the entire 2:00 minutes of your video. Just the inspiration I needed to have a good food weekend. Cuz, I wanna be a size 9 too. These sore hammy's are totally worth it. You wear your 9's with ultimate pride. You worked hard & this is what you worked for!!!

Jen said...

Sp excited for you!! What an amazing accomplishment! ENJOY YOUR SIZE 9's!!

Colleen @ Goodbye, Fat Girl! said...

Tears of joy over here right along with you.

When I can fit in a size 9 (only 2 billion more sizes to go!) I PROMISE to post a video of me trying on pants like this.

In 2 short minutes you have inspired many many people with this video.

I think you, Miss Charlie, are FABULOUS!

Colleen
Goodbye, Fat Girl!

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

I don't know if you've caught it on my blog, Charlie, but I went back to Weight Watchers two weeks ago. AGAIN. But this time, it's been different. I'VE been different. In two weeks, I lost 5 lbs. And then, THIS WEEK happened, and I went back to my old, bad ways. Your video just kicked my butt back on track. For real. Thank you.

(And, hello? CONGRATULATIONS!!!)

Lauren Thomas said...

You're awesome! And even more stinkin' awesome as a skinny minnie! way to go girl friend!

KCLAnderson (Karen) said...

This has got to be one of most my favorite blog posts ever!! You ROCK those size 9 jeans girlfriend!!!

And I love love love LOVE the grin on your face :-) And the tears.

JourneyBeyondSurvival said...

I love you. You are so inspirational. It's a lot of emotions to digest. Don't be worried if your first impulse is to eat.

That's just what all those snow days have done to your brain. It'll pass, and your jeans will stay and stay...


...and stay!

Untypically Jia said...

Okay on a serious note, I'm at 24W right now (the snug 24W) and I have a pair of 16's in my closet. Those were my goal pants. Cause I was wearing size 18's when I was sixteen years old. I don't remember ever knowing my pants size before that age.

I didn't think 9 was possible for girls like us (and I say like us cause yeah you are a skinny whoreface now, but you'll always wear the badge of honor).

Thanks for showing the rest of us possibilities.

Roxie said...

Woohoo! You are in a size 9! That's awesome lady!!

And, I cried with you there. Congrats and thanks for sharing that with us.

Shari said...

a size 9 is a JUNIORS size, not a misses. Those sizes are way smaller, probably more equal to an 8... you go girl!

Angela Pea said...

Yeah! I've been too scared to try on an 8. My twelves are sliding down, the 10 is baggy in the butt.

Q said...

Fantabulous! I got teary with you there. I'm an 18/20 now...the 20s are too big, but the 18s are a bit too snug. At my skinniest ever, I was a 12. So way to go, getting into single digits.

juliel said...

Wow, Charlie..just wow :)
You inspire me, more than you can ever know.
I'm 1.5lbs from the 160s..and it's like "say what?!!?" Hard to let go of the fat girl!

Danielle said...

Whooohoooo! *does the happy dance*

Girl, how fantasticly awesome are you! PTL! I bet you God had a big smile on His face today. And I bet His words were, 'Well done, Daughter!"

Love ya!

Morgan said...

Hi - I found you thanks to the fabulous JBS, and I have to say that your video was simply amazing. It was funny, tear-jerking, inspirational - all those things that make movies Oscar-worthy. How amazing for you to be in that place right now. I almost cried watching the range of emotions on your face as you got them on. Congratulations! I will be following you from now on!

Lynda with a Y said...

I am so happy for you. You worked long and hard for this and now is the time to just bask in it and enjoy! You ROCK those size 9s.

Annie said...

I'm proud of you! Well done, Charlie!

Shrinking Mommy said...

Awesome! Isn't it great to be in single digits!

D House of Style said...

Congrats! Thanks for the inspiration. I'm still in a 18 but I will get there!

Need to Get ME Back said...

AWW thats awesome! I haven't been a size 9 since high school.. like about 10 years ago! This was the first time I've been to your blog and I love it! I am a new follower, you're my inspiration!! Fitting into a pair of 9s and being as happy as you are is my inspiration!!

Korin Lopez said...

What a wonderful moment!!!

Missie said...

Now i'm sitting here crying with you! Congrats!

Jenn @ watchmybuttshrinking.com said...

Wow, that was awesome!!! Congratulations!!!!!

Leebird said...

Charlie girl! Thank you for letting us share this moment.

So proud of you and so proud to know you.

Love, Birdy

Anonymous said...

Oh you beautiful SKINNY girl! I cried my head off watching that video. You are AMAZING!!!! Keep up the HARD work. You deserve those size 9s!

Joan

Anonymous said...

That was an amazing, amazing thing to watch! Thank you for sharing it. I could see in your face everything I would be feeling and I will carry that with me as I make my way down to there too.

billiec2000 said...

This made me cry, Charlie!! =)) I am SO very happy for you!! Praising God and rejoicing with you!!!

heidi said...

I'm so happy for you!! Congratulations. You were still wonderful before that size 9. You've worked very hard to be where you are. YOU ROCK!!! :D

 
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