Thursday, June 30

In Living Color...

This is the picture that Jia made for me.

Because Jia is starting out at almost the same size I was- pound for pound, inch for inch.

When I look at this picture, it's hard for me to grasp the changes I see. Not only the physical elements, but the emotional ones as well.

There is a relief I see on my face now. Is my life any easier than when I started? Not really. But do I look at life differently now?


There are chances I want to take. Items on my "Things to do before you turn 80" list I want to check off.

But most of all, I never want to live my life in the Black and White and Greys again.

See, the girl in the grey didn't take chances. She lived by playing it safe. She shut herself up in her house, limited her exposure to the outside world (can we say agoraphobia?) and lived happily in the comfort of her couch's butt-dent. She thought that failing was the worst thing that could ever happen to her.

But the girl in the color pictures?

She knows that failure isn't the worst thing that can happen.

The worst thing that could ever happen is sitting on her couch wondering "WHAT IF I HAD TRIED MY BEST?"

Failing at anything isn't such a bad thing. We take lessons away from our failures. We grow. We change our strategy. And most of all, we know what not to do next time.

For me, the growth I have encountered during my failures has been remarkable.

I didn't always lose weight every week.
...and I learned patience.

I didn't always succeed on particular diet plans.
...and I learned to listen closely to my body.

I didn't always like an exercise.
...and I learned to build character by returning until I liked it.

I didn't always fit into my goal clothes.
...and I learned to look back on the clothes that I shrunk out of instead.

I didn't always like the scale.
...and I learned to like the changes I saw in measurements and how I felt.

It's ok for us to be uncomfortable. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to feel hungry sometimes. It's ok to be dissapointed. But I wouldn't have known all those things unless I had failed in some way.

The girl who is grey in those pictures was afraid to try ANYTHING.

But the girl with the trashy bleached blonde hair is ready for adventure. She's ready to open up her life for something more than what she ever thought possible.

She's got living color.

Do you?


Laurie said...

I am feeling so low and so fat. I am the grey girl. Reading this makea me want to cry.

nikkianne said...

Your post motivates me! You look so happy and beautiful in your colour pics. I can't wait till I'm there too!

I struggle, I make bad food choices, I overeat, I skimp on exercise, but this time I'm not giving up!

Toi said...

I am so proud of you. Today I sat here thinking about how I'm starting over again, and how far I have to go and blah blah blah....and then I thought. I started. Despite the set backs of life, there are things that I have learned and new habits I have gained like eating veggies and fruit. I have missed the gym and made it back now. One foot in front of the other, one day at a time, one bite at a time. You have encouraged me to keep going. I can do it!!!! Congratulations!!!

Hyla said...

I hope my arms look that good when I reach my goal!! And where did you pick up those dresses??

Devin said...

Inspiring as ever, Charlie. :)

Sandy said...

working on it! I'd say I'm currently in "technicolor". Soon, though, I'll be in HD. :)

Nichole said...

Gives me hope!!! :o)

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