Yep. I’m talking about THE BIG change.
No, not menopause…
The change from fat to skinny.
Apparently I’m there. Over the past few days, I have been in various social situations where I have come into contact with people who haven’t seen me for a while. And the reactions have been interesting.
“WOAH. You are looking great!”
“I can’t believe how incredible you look!”
“Man, you have really changed!”
Now, I would like to think all of this is because I am happy and smiling more. Because I feel more like the me I’m supposed to be than I ever have before.
But it’s not.
People are remarking on the change they see- because my body has finally given over to the fact I’m sticking with this diet thing till the bitter end. And it’s bending to my will at last.
So on the outside, I guess things look really different. (Indulge me for a quick before and after photo session, for I cannot resist... lol)
But on the INSIDE, well, that’s where things are the most different.
But you can’t see that part in a before and after picture.
One of the phrases that stuck with me the most from Fitbloggin was when my darling friend Karen said “It’s about learning not to let the food control you, then learning how to not control the food.”
And that’s where I am.
Food doesn’t have power over me. But more importantly, my life isn’t hyperfocused on controlling my food intake either.
I still eat potato chips. The occasional breadbowl from Dominos. Chocolate cake. French Fries.
But I’ve learned how to stop stressing out over the fact I chose to eat those things. They aren’t any more or less fuel for my body than an apple, asparagus, broccoli, or skinless chicken breasts. It’s all just food to me.
They aren’t trigger foods, emotional escapes, or crutches anymore.
And I have a healthier relationship with food now than I’ve ever experienced in my entire life!
I know that lots of you on the journey of weight loss aren’t there yet. And that’s ok. It’s taken me since 2009 on this nutty diet to get there myself. And if you go back in my archives, you will be assured this feeling about food wasn’t the case for a long long time. It was a process. A really long irritating heartbreaking frustrating process. (Which was only exacerbated by owning a scale and having to take the lumps for emotional eating… which made me want to eat more… you know the cycle just as well as me.)
But now that I’m here, I refuse to let myself put food on a pedestal again. It will never hold me captive on the couch again. I’m running free now. I’ve broken out of my own fat prison.
So if you see me out and about, and want to comment on how much my body has changed, that’s totally fine. I’ll tell you I’ve lost 84 pounds (ALMOST AT 85, just ounces away!!!) and might even do a little spin.
But you can’t see the most important part of it all.
I FEEL FANTASTIC. I’m in control of all the things I should be, and have let go of the things I have no business trying to control. For the first time in my life, I’m proud of the body I’ve got- backfat, stretch marks, flabby arms and all. I’m not going to say things can’t get better, because I will never limit my opportunities for success again. Life is pretty gosh darn spectacular for me right now, but the sky really is the limit for where things can go from here!
And THAT, my friends, is the best part about the weigh things have changed!!!