Monday, May 17

The Goodbye

My Gma Bush passed away yesterday morning.

I feel relief- because she is out of pain now and her body is now perfect in the arms of Jesus.

I feel sorrow- because losing someone you love will do that to you.

I feel numb- because… I don’t know why. I spent so much time crying last week I seem to be out of tears. I’m sure that will change. But for now, I’m holding my own.

I feel tired- I couldn’t sleep enough.

I feel hungry- I’m finding out just how much of an emotional eater I am. This is going to set me back a month at least. Gma would smack me upside the head if she was still here. Lucky for my head, she isn’t.

Most of all, I feel loss. The hurting kind. But Gma would be happy that she is missed so much already. She was a drama queen just like me. She loved people falling all over her. So a good amount of grief seems fitting.

I will be taking this week off from blogging. We have a lot of things to do- the girls are going to be in their first play this week. Every day during school. They will have to miss Thursday for the funeral, but other than that, they have 7 performances to get through this week. And Tim is struggling with the idea of death. Matt and I are going to do our best to support the kids through this confusing time. And Matt has a hot mess on his hands with me. Pray for him to have strength and wisdom of how to deal with his wife.

Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement through this difficult time.

Every word you have said is sincerely appreciated.


trimadsco said...

Charlie, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious GMA. I am praying for you!

Danielle said...

I'm praying! Love you!

Jeanze said...

If your Gma is anything like my Nana, she's not at all far away, and she will make sure you know it! Prayers for all of you as you move through letting go toward looking in and around... she is there in your heart, and there will be many little signs around you to remind you that she's keeping an eye out.

Untypically Jia said...

You've got my prayers mama chica. Love you much. I know what you're going through. My Grandma was my world, and I know those same emotions all too well.

Take care this week sweetie!

Devin said...

Praying Charlie...don't worry about not blogging :) you take time for yourself and your family this week. We'll be praying you through, the best we can.

Katie said...

I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I can only imagine how close you were to her. I'm very close with my granddaddy who will be 89 this summer and each year I cherish even more becaues I know what a blessing it is to still have him here with me. I'm thinking of you and your family during this time and pray for your peace. Cyber hugs being sent.

Leah Gillen said...

Lifting you up friend! Love you...

theresa g said...

I just lost my Grandmom recently (May 7th). I know how you feel, Char. My heart is with you <3

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