Looking for a TRAINER: Must have endless courage to deal with a whiney dieter who's tired of being stuck. Must be willing to work with flabby bat wings on arms that have extra skin from previous weight loss. Must be able to flatten stomach, while ignoring outcries of discouragement by said stomach's owner, who will tell you it's from having 3 kids. You must accept this, which she sees as truth, is a lie. Also, please be willing to be extra tough during workouts while dieter is fighting tooth and nail because she's afraid of pain. You must resist the urge to give in to her, despite her convincing desperate ramblings. If she cries, know this is a defense mechanism. Crocodile tears, nothing more. You must be willing to deal with 5 feet 4 inches of fury from time to time, especially 3 days a month. And finally, you have to be willing to call whiney dieter out on her crap. If interested, please contact me, Whiney Dieter.
Last night, while at the YMCA with Tricky Nikki, we discovered this clever little kiosk sitting in the corner of the wellness center. And Nik and I, being total suckers for gadgets (Nik owned the shock belt for your abs and I own 3000 exercise DVDs and have more “bands” than I know what to do with) gleefully signed up. It’s a program through the YMCA called Mobile Fit. And we are now proud members.
What shocked me was the number of questions they asked on the little automated screen. Health questions, likes and dislikes, weight and ability, etc.. But there was one question that really tripped my trigger.
“Have you ever started a diet/exercise program and then quit?”
That question took me off guard. I wasn’t expecting it. And while my pride took a look around the room to see if the moral police was watching me so I could say NO, I realized that anyone with half a brain could read 3 posts of mine here on the Al Gore invented internet, and know I was lying my fat butt off.
Because for just a moment, let’s look at all the things I have started and stopped over the life span of this blog.
Fat Girl Yoga (which I still do, actually- win one for Charlie)
Broccoli for dinner (a gassy mistake, to be sure)
Colon Cleansing (with a special appearance from Frank the hemorrhoid)
Wake Up with Fitness (the 6am class Tricky Nikki and I hit for a month)
Couch to 5k
LOTTE BERK METHOD (My legs still tremble at the thought of her)
Swimming a mile
The Turkey Tutorial (which we may be doing again this year. Now that I have a better camera!)
Jillian’s 30 day dread. I mean shred. Either way…
The introduction of Domino’s bread bowl pastas
And folks, that is just 2009.
I am the queen of stop it and quit it. (Ironically those are the names I have given the girls. Thanks to high school boys with grabby hands, that’s all I ever said about them for 4 years. “Stop it. Quit it.”) I start things, but never seem to finish them. I can’t do something consistently for 30 days. I can’t keep up things for a long period of time. That’s just not who I am.
But who I am is changing. Who I am is no longer Charlie who hopes for the best. It’s now Charlie who is WORKING for the best. Eating better. Working out more consistently. Fighting to be the person she has never been before.
So what was my answer for that nosey little kiosk? I said “Yes, I have started and stopped programs.” Because I can’t lie about that.
But I can change it.
Tonight is the night that I walk. I’m planning to get 7 miles in. But something has to give. I have to break my own will and spirit to become the girl who knows that anything is possible. Even losing 100 pounds. And I’m well on my way. Sure, I’ve been sidetracked for a while, but that’s all part of my process. The process to wean the old me out of the new me.
And now I have help. Turns out you are given a “wellness coach” to help you along the way. And I still need to check with the fellow I have been given- to see if he’s prepared for full disclosure on the blog. (Some people are funny about that) But if he’s willing to go through this part publicly with me, then we are all in for a real treat. He’s got a body builder no-nonsense attitude. In fact, the reason I picked him was because I had a list of names on the screen and he was at the wellness center desk.
I asked him “Who will train me really hard, and not listen to any of my excuses or take crap from me?”
He kinda grinned and said, “There are 3, and I’m one of them.”
Plus, he asked what my goals are, and LISTENED to me. That is worth spades in my book and on my blog. I think a body building trainer might be exactly what this whiney- diet- cheating- flabby- girl needs in her workout life right now. If he says yes to full disclosure, we will have to think up a good nickname for him.
The idea of having a trainer is something I have toyed with for a long long time. And now, it looks like it's just what I need to push me over the edge of my comfort zone and into something tone and fit, and maybe even a size 6. I really like that.
So tonight, if you see a girl bebopping down the main drag of Danville with blonde pigtails and sweating like a pig, you should honk and holler cat calls out the window. I’ll know it’s you.
(And to the gal who I saw last night at the YMCA who reads my blog??? I can’t thank you enough for reading! I’m sorry that I don’t remember your name (I’m bad with real names) but I really appreciate you saying something. It made my night! I worked twice as hard because you were there!!! My arms hurt like mad, but my heart is light! I can’t wait to have a real conversation with you sometime!)
Let’s go out there today, kicking fat butt and taking names. It is ON!!!!!!!!!!!
Have any of you invested in a personal trainer before? If so, how were your experiences?