But I wanted to do it. Sure it hurt like h-e-double-hockey-sticks, yet I kept wanting to go just one more block. Just keep jogging to see what would happen if I did. To see what was on the other side of that elusive rainbow of fitness I keep looking for but never seem to find…
So when it started to burn, and my legs were clomping forward in utter agony, I just reminded myself “I can do anything for 12 minutes” and kept going. I knew as long as I didn’t stop we would make it by 12 minutes. And we did. Right now I’m not too worried about speed. I’m worried about giving up. Cause that’s what I always seem to do when the going gets painful.
Yet last night, running in the warm Indian summer evening air, the last thing I wanted to do was give up!!! And that is the first time in a long while I have felt like that. There’s an internal fire burning that wasn’t there before. It’s not about running either. It’s about being in control of my physical destiny. Taking charge of my own abilities instead of listening to my mind saying “STOP! Don’t go here! It’s painful and scary!” That voice no longer holds the megaphone in my head.
So I may be a disgruntled runner- a frustrated dieter- a person who has never swam these frightening waters before. But my goal is to get to the land of 160’s before Thanksgiving. As of this morning, I am 7 pounds away from that goal. Much better than my 180s from last week. 177 looks and feels good, especially knowing how I got it.
And here’s how I got it:
I am no longer eating like I am on a “diet,” but am eating like I intend to live for the rest of my life. Portion control. Stopping when I am full. Not counting carbs or calories. Just learning how to skip out of the clean plate club and say ENOUGH.
Walking as often and as much as I can. Last week I got 25.5 miles in. with 2.5 miles of that being attempts to jog. One full mile of running. (GRIN)
By asking God to retake control over my diet life. Not everyone has to take this step, but for me it’s important. In fact, it’s more important than eating right and exercising. When He is in control of me, amazing things happen.