The time has come...

It isn't pretty. Not at all.

Last night's little trip into Japanese cuisine land left me with an extra 3 pounds. Which means that I am back up to 182 and some change.

Don't get me wrong...it was totally worth it. I fully believe that you must still have a life while dieting. You need to make exceptions to the rules sometimes in order to not go crazy or feel deprived. My rule of thumb is that things like celebrations and parties are reason to indulge a little.


Being bored is NOT an excuse to indulge.

As you all are completely aware, I have been struggling with the same 5 pounds for a month and a half now. Probably longer if I stop and count it up. Which I won't. Not today. Maybe once I hit 170 I can look back with fond memories of how I fought valiantly for over 6 or 7 weeks and finally beat that stubborn plateau. Till then, the proof is in the low fat sugar free pudding.

Now, I am still doing good with the measurements. I am comfortably into size 12 pants, and my goal jeans are able to be zipped while I'm in an upright position. That is progress.

And although I don't believe that health is all about your weight, I am really sick and tired of seeing 178-182. Mostly because I know that I am better than that. I am able to achieve much more than I have given myself credit for. I can beat this. Which means one thing.

It's time for an all out assault against fat. Kids, Charlie is at war.

So what does that mean, exactly? It means that I need extreme accountability. So I signed back up for Weight Watchers online. It had to be done. I don't journal my food unless I am using the online tools. I can eat 24 points a day, which means no more high fat- low fiber- crap food for this girl. Back to healthy fruits and veggies, lean meats, and water. Lots and lots of water.

Part 2 of my war against fat is finding a way to really work out again. Not just the Lotte Berk either. But really pushing myself. Which means I need Jillian again.

You may recall in the post "Charlie's sweaty balls and the YMCA" that my Jillian Michaels is the teacher of the "Wake Up with Fitness" class at the Danville Family YMCA. She was the best thing that ever happened to my diet. When Tricky Nikki and I were attending her class, I was really cruising on the weight loss and shrinkage. But when our financial scholarship for the membership ran out, we weren't able to afford a membership there. Matt and I are trying really hard to get out of debt, and with only his income supporting our family of 5, it's just not something we can swing. But like many of you have encountered for yourselves, we are just over the limit of getting help. It really sucks being mostly broke.

So I emailed a plea letter to the director, asking him to sponsor my family. It's risky, because he may not even notice the letter in his inbox. But if there was ever a girl in need of a Y membership, it's this girl. Hopefully he will take pity on my situation, and see all the good I have done so far. Not just to make myself healthier, but helping others out there who needed a nudge. Or a shove.

I don't want to stay where I am. I want to keep losing. I want a healthy body mass index. I want the scale to be my friend, instead of the evil arch enemy of my mornings. I want to keep walking in the right direction towards my goal!!!

Speaking of stepping, I forgot to post a picture of the shoes that I painted for last night's outfit. I am doing that now, for those of you who are curious. I have an obsession for altering shoes. This is the second pair I have conquered, and I keep finding new ways to make them new and fresh. Anyhoo, I hope you like them!