Wednesday, September 30

Girl Power is found in your purse

Mother Nature- my foe. Stuck once again cleaning up the mess she has made, doomed to endure it for the next 6 days. No fun at all. You can read my letter to Mother Nature if you happen to miss her gift on my birthday, but if you are up to speed, then please, read on.

I have been on a kick of talking about sabotage lately, and I will continue with that later. But for today, in order to take my mind off the cramps that are making my ears ring, I am going to discuss girl power.

GP is a wonderful gift 40 weeks out of the year. The other 12, it’s wretched. Let’s do some math.

I started my frequent monthly periods at 12. I am now 32. 20x12= 240 weeks of my life that I have been bleeding. That’s a little over 4 years. SO FAR. Now, I did get pregnant for 3 years straight, but the 8 weeks of bleeding after each birth makes up for the time I missed while preggers. That’s also averaging out the months when I have had more than one period, and the time I tried the shot form of birth control and had a 40 day flood.

So, let’s say that I spend $10 dollars on pads and tampons for every period. 240 periods times 10 bucks a pop is $2400, not to mention bleach, ammonia, and stain sticks. And replacing underwear that has been bleached out one too many times and falls apart when I peel off the Always pad, like cotton confetti in the mall bathroom. Yep, it’s happened.

$2400 for a week long party for the next 20 years, complete with decorations, and a special invitation to those around us about a week before hand, warning them that this will be more of a pity party than anything.

What a waste of money. Seriously.

Girl Power is highly overrated.

I know that this has nothing to do with dieting at first glance, but maybe it has more to do with dieting than we think. After all, as women, we prepare for our periods. We make sure our purses are stocked with a portable pharmacy. We have pantyliners, pads, pads with wings, light flow tampons, regular flow tampons, and “I’ve given birth to 3 kids” big around as a tuna can tampons. We carry Midol, Advil, Aleve, and bottles of water to suck those pills down. We have those nifty heat pads that don’t need a cord, wet wipes, and some of us who have had exploding panties in the bathroom are even smart enough to carry around an extra pair in a Ziploc baggie.

SO what do we carry in our purse that help us diet in sticky situations?

Let’s figure out how to stock our purse like a portable grocery store and help us be successful when we are out and about.

1. Sugar free gum.

Ladies, this is our first line of defense when it comes to food. It helps us get the sensation of eating, gives us flavor, and helps curb those cravings. (Especially if it’s cinnamon, right Amy and Lee Ann? Hahahaha) I keep sweet fruity kinds, spicy kinds, and even the weird flavors in my purse at all times. No matter what I think I might be hungry for, I have a flavor to match.

2. Fiber One Bars.

I know these are more expensive than Nutrigrain cereal bars or granola bars, but there is a reason I like these for the purse. First of all, they are packed with fiber, which will hold off hunger longer than the granola versions. Second of all, any food that is in my purse has got to stand up to some fierce beatings. My purse is knocked around, sat on, squished, and laid flat during the course of any given day. The Fiber One Bars are tough little cookies. They don’t melt or fall apart or get squashed to the point of squeezing out of the wrapper. And they are deelish!!!!

3. Del Monte fruit 100 calorie fruit cans.
I know, taking a can in your purse sounds bulky, but so is carrying around a big can on your backside. Trust me on this. Fruit is my life blood these days. I eat it whenever I can. (get it? Can? I’m so punny!) Just make sure you keep a plastic spoon or fork in your purse to go with it. And don’t worry about a can opener. The fantastic folks at Del Monte made sure to put a lid that can be opened with your hands, just like a can of soda.

4. I would mention that you should always have a bottle of water in there too, but you already have it to suck down your midol….

So there you have it. Everything you need to get yourself through a trip to the mall. Period or not, your purse is important. It can keep you from having wild calorie attacks in the food court. It can save you from needing to walk an extra mile on the treadmill. Because this way, you will always be prepared:

When purse comes to shoving food in your mouth.

1 comment:

Danielle said...

Great tips, girl! I have to have gum with me at all times. If I don't, I start searching for food or anything I can get my hands on. I know it's just an excuse, but I was a smoker for 13yrs, so now I have to really have the gum around. Not that I crave a ciggie, but I need Craziness.

Hope you're having a good week. It's been so hectic for me, I feel like I haven't been on here at all!

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