Who is it, exactly, decided that we have to be perfect? That every woman has to be the same kind of thin? That every week you diet you must lose weight or you are doing something wrong?
Whoever it was, I would love to wring their neck.
I have decided today to buck the perfection trap. I am standing firmly against the idea that you must have your hair just so, that makeup has to be applied, and that when you do something it has to be right on.
I am not a piano player, as you will shortly experience. I play chords. That's it. And for today, I'm OK with the ability I currently possess.
I started walking 5 miles 3 times a week. And this week, I didn't lose weight. I'm 178 at the moment. And I'm OK with the fact that I am hanging in there even though I don't see results right this second.
I didn't feel like putting on makeup today. And you know what? I am fine with you seeing my face without the fake eyelashes and concealer. I also didn't fix my hair before this. I'm a mess. And this mess is just fine with bangs that don't stay where they are supposed to.
I look goofy when I sing and play piano. I hesitate when I can't find the chords on the keyboard that is laying on my bed. In fact, I have to start over just when I was getting started. (That is SOOOOOO much like my dieting life!) But the song itself speaks louder than my mistakes.
This song, which I shared the lyrics to earlier this week, is from the deepest parts of my heart. It's to encourage us to take the small steps when it doesn't seem like we are going anywhere. It reminds us to keep working for the things we want, even though those things seem far out of our reach. It tells me to not demand perfection all the time, but to travel on the hard roads that will benefit me better than a quick fix.
I wish I could give you a perfected version of this song, but that would totally defeat the purpose of what I am trying to say. So- you get the real, imperfect, not fancy me playing the best I can and singing from the most personal places that I have. And while it looks like I am staring directly at the camera for part of this song, I am simply keeping my eyes on my music. Cause I suck at remembering what chords to play.
You deserve honesty, and this is as raw as the truth can get. But the point is that we keep moving forward in spite of our lack of perfection.
It almost feels freeing to post this as is, screw ups and all.
Maybe next time, I'll show you all how bad my stretch marks are on my tummy... if there's a chance it will help me accept my imperfections there, count me in!
tales of the cupcake part one
3 hours ago