A new reader, Stephanie, made this comment recently on a previous post:
"your stories aren't really the traditional, church lady devos, are they?"
I almost peed my pants with this comment. How right you are, Stephanie, how right you are!!!
And today is a perfect example of that fact. Because I'll be talking a little about my faith. And the diet. And the flu.
I promise this will not discuss puke in detail.
I may, however, address it in generalities.
As you all know, things have been mighty interesting around here. We have been dealing with flu. Not the swine kind. Just the regular ‘ole body achin, tummy quaking, intestine shakin flu. It’s not by anyone’s fault (I am not blaming my husband who works in a hospital) (or the children who sneeze on MY children at school and pass this nasty stuff) (Or the parents who send their sick kids KNOWINGLY to school because they need to go to work instead of letting their kids stay home) but regardless, with it being no one in particular’s fault, we got it.
Oh my, did we get it.
Today, everyone seems to be OK. Not great, but OK. Everyone ate a reasonable amount of food for breakfast. Everyone brushed teeth without incident. Everyone grumbled about hating mornings and asked “WHEN are we gonna homeschool?” So it seemed pretty normal. Except everyone still looks a little peckish. Just 2 shades whiter than they ought to. But the kids, who didn’t really want more makeup homework than necessary, voted to try school today.
Therefore, being the fantastic mom that I am, I let them go, with disclaimers to teachers, secretaries, and gym teachers.
There are conditions to being back at school.
1. No running. I don’t want people getting overheated. I don’t want headaches to come back with a vengeance, nor do I want tummies to start hurting.
2. If anyone, for any reason, starts acting ill, they get to come home.
3. The school is to call me if there’s any problem. I don’t care what it is, they are gonna call.
Because the flu is nothing to sneeze at. (groan) It’s something that we have to take very seriously. Which lead this attention deficited mind to thoughts about the diet.
Do we introduce conditions when we are on a diet?
Granted, dieting isn’t exactly like the flu. It’s something we choose to do. But if you have been, or are in a situation like me, you are forced to choose dieting. We have allowed ourselves to not take care of us like we should, and now we have to pay the piper. We have to get our weight under control.
So, in taking back control, what are some of the conditions while we are on a diet? What rules do we make so that we can achieve success? As I was pondering this, I couldn’t help but giggle. Here’s why.
Last night, Matt was retelling the kids about what happened when Mommy got sick on Saturday night. We are big into storytelling around here, and the kids love hearing about what happens from someone else’s point of view.
Here’s how the story went down…or came back up. For discussion.
“So your mom was lying on the couch, watching a movie. And she wasn’t feeling so hot. She was taking lots of deep breaths, telling herself ‘I’m not gonna puke..I’m not gonna puke.’ Finally, after about 30 minutes of that, she started to consider that maybe she would feel better if she didn’t fight it. Maybe if she just went with it, she would get her tummy to quit hurting.”
By this point, the kids are all wide eyed with delight and on the edge of the couch, waiting to hear what Mom would do. (Even though they already knew)
“Mommy got up off the couch and walked very slowly to the bathroom. She laid a towel down on the floor in front of the toilet. Then she got down on her knees and assumed the position. You know, when you rest your chin on the seat of the toilet and put your arms on there to hang on for dear life…anyway, I was standing behind her, making sure she was OK. I said, ‘Are you gonna be sick, babe?’ and she answered, ‘Yeah, I’m just waiting for it to star…BBBBLLLLLEEEEAAAACCCCHHHH.”
Now at this point, our kids, who have all thrown up themselves in the last 48 hours, are practically in tears, giggling with joy. Not because Mommy got sick, but because we made it OK to be sick. We found a sliver of happiness in what had happened, and the horrific moment. Matt continued on.
“I mean, your Mom, she puked so hard that she was peeing on that towel she’d laid on the floor under her. Which was very thoughtful of her to lay down. Then she kept going, and kept getting sick, and I couldn’t look away. I felt bad, but it was fascinating to watch! Mommy got so sick, it was almost violent!”
By now, our kids are on the floor, laughing. Matt makes sure we all have a good time in this house, no matter what is going on that looks bleek. Or bleck as it were.
The reason I am telling you this (somewhat gross, yet strangely fascinating) story is that we all come to a point when we know we can no longer fight the inevitable.
If you want to gain your health, you have to lose the weight.
If you are ready to drop the insecurities, you have to drop the pounds.
If you want to expand your self esteem, you have to shrink the waist.
But FIRST- it requires you to kneel down before the Throne in humility, and surrender to what lies before you.
(Yes, you all just read right. I equated a toilet to the Mercy Seat of God. If I can spiritualize a tampon and equate it to my faith, then bringing some Holiness to a toilet is a snap!)
What are your conditions to embarking on this journey?
This weight loss process, much like the flu, is filled with nasty moments. You may question yourself and your capabilities. You will get frustrated and fight with yourself to keep going. But if you are kneeling and giving it all over to your Maker, bite by bite, pound by pound, then you are going to make it. Not because of your own strength, but because the flying white flag of surrender is your banner.
Surrender makes it OK. No- this process will not be fun. Not all the time. But looking back on it, if you have surrendered yourself, then there is no shame, and no condemnation. You are making changes from this moment forward. There is no more beating yourself up for getting into this position. You say, “Ok, I’m gonna feel better after this is all said and done. I’m going to get through this. But for right now, I have to give over to this. I have to surrender.”
And you rest your chin on the seat, wrap your arms around your God, hanging on for dear life, and you let the upheaval begin.
“For the Lord your God is bringing you into a good land- a land with streams and pools of water, with springs flowing into the valleys and hills.”
tales of the cupcake part one
2 days ago