I was going to write you a lengthy apology letter yesterday afternoon. Not because I spent a crap ton of money at your store buying healthy and organic food…
And not because I stocked my cupboards with delicious foods that I can actually eat….
And certainly not because of the huge sale you were having on yougurt and I bought 30 containers of it….
But because I thought that I left you a present.
About halfway through the drive home, I realized that I could no longer feel my pad in the location it was supposed to be. And I thought, especially after the Shamwreck Run, that I had left a you a totally disgusting present from the leg of my shortie shorts (which are not so shortie as most young people would wear, but they are short for me.)
And I gotta tell you, County Market, I was praying that it wasn’t so. I was riding home, with my cheeks bright red, thinking of all the aisles I might have “dropped the bomb” on Easter Sunday, when your store was PACKED TO THE GILLS. Who saw it happen? Did they get a manager and point me out? Will I be allowed back into your store? At least 3 weeks out of the month?
Thankfully, I was Diva Cupping it, so it should have been nice and white. But you just never know. Accidents are prone to happen to girls like me, especially when they are focused on healthy food procurement and winning a contest, as I am.
You have no idea how relieved I was to discover (after racing to the bathroom the second I got home) that the pad was safely stuck to the inside of my shorts. I cannot imagine the migratory pattern of the pad, or how it got there, but I was ecstatic to see it stuck on the inside booty of my shorties.
Problem solved, and now I don’t have to send you a letter at all. THANK HEAVENS!!!
Almost sincerely yours-
Charlie, Queen of Mishaps