I won't deny the truth. The dieting switch has been off for a while. A PAINFULLY long time, as a matter of fact. Not hiding it, but certainly not enjoying talking about it.
And since it appears that I am not going to be a Hilton Hotel for a baby this month, I may as well diet. (I retook a test this morning. I had one last test to burn through, anyway. I was quite startled, in my first morning stupor, to hear it beep. I did not realize it was digital. I looked, and found I wasn't pregnant. However, my pee was a balmy 98.4 degrees...)
And thus, we start YET ANOTHER DAY ONE. But this time, I'm pulling out all the stops.
I'm not even kidding about that.
For starters, I got myself a new goal dress. I picked one that was void of Lycra, stretchy nylon, and the likes. I want no mercy. The last dress I got was a cute skull dress. And it stretched. It wasn't pretty, but it fit. THIS TIME, I got something fitted and tiny. In a size 10. I would have gone smaller, but I have to stuff my blessings in a cup somewhere. And size 6 dresses are not created with the saggy boobed slightly middle aged woman in mind. So I figured a 10 would keep me plenty occupied for the time being.
Next, tonight I am filming an expose on my actual body. No nudity, as I still have a shred of modesty and a few brain cells left. But I need to grasp what my body is. I need to see what I have to work on. (The obvious being tummy, arms, waist) But the truth is, I have no idea what they actually look like. My mirror lies to me. (The scale does not.) I am not going to do this out of poor self body image. It is only out of poor self image. Because I know what I can do if I set my mind to it. And while pictures are shockingly truthful a lot of times, a video- that captures jiggles and wiggles and flops- that should trip my trigger. And FAST. I might even attempt to put on the goal dress. It will make it that much more dramatic when it fits! (Shooting for Christmas)
Hanging around at 180, which is pretty good. I am aching to see 179 again. Then I will only be 10 pounds away from all I have gained over the last year. Funny how it takes forever to lose and no time at all to put back on!
Finally, I had a fruit fiesta at the produce section of Meijers. I happened to be in another town today, and got some of the fruits I love that our local stores don't carry. I am bound and determined to stay "clean" this week. And I'm going to do it one day at a time. One bite at a time. I'll be blogging every day this week, just for the accountability, since the YMCA pool is out of commission, and there will be no water aerobics. However, I have a crapton of exercise videos to keep me busy, a treadmill (somewhere under clothes mountain), and a washer and dryer that are one flight below me as we speak. I can bust through some calories just staying home. Or having a nervous breakdown about the upcoming expose tonight. Fear makes me sweat, and sweat is classified as working out. (In my book anyway!)
So there's the scoop. I am manually flipping my diet switch. I'm going to push it until it clicks, and I get the final leg of my journey done. I will do everything in my blogging power to help your switch flip too. Cause I don't like doing things alone. I have dieting codependency.
What things have flipped your switch? What do you think it WOULD take to get you motivated again?
tales of the cupcake part one
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