Wednesday, August 25

This IS My Body...

As promised. My self expose.

The most painful 10 minutes were filming it. Or so I thought, until I spent an hour and a half editing it. That was even worse. (And you can thank me for cutting some of the really gross parts. Especially when I showed how my belly could swallow the freshly plucked bellybutton. That I left out with you in mind.)

Why did I do it?

For a couple of reasons.

A) I want every woman (and the few brave men that have stuck it out through the Diva Cup posts) out there struggling with weight to know that you are NORMAL. You are NEVER ALONE in this fight. Don't like your body? Neither do I. But most of all, I don't like that my fears and my emotions have held me back for so long.

B) I think we sometimes don't have a concept of what our bodies really look like in motion. And movement makes all the difference. I personally needed a reality check.

C) Flipping that switch. Remember?

So- there's no nudity, but you will see A LOT of the real me.

Kinda freaking out, because sometimes I wonder if I take this whole "Honesty in Dieting" policy too far.

Wondering through the process of video taping myself if this is going to be a disaster.

Wishing that I was showing you my "I reached my goal" video instead of my "stuck in limbo and desperate to change" video.

But this is my body. For everything it is, for everything it's not...

It's mine to have and mine to change. It's time to be brave and show the world that me and my body are ready for some hard work.

This IS my body.


Shamberly Coleman said...

Charlie ~ Yes, you are brave, but more importantly, you need to know that you are also unequivocally beautiful. One of my favorite quotes is: "We're not what we should be. We're not what we're going to be. But, at least, we're not what we were." ~ Unknown... You have come a long way, and from my own experience (not to mention all of your posts!), I KNOW it has not been an easy road to travel, and I know that your journey isn't over yet. Personally, though, I know ~ and I mean, I KNOW and believe without a shadow of a doubt ~ that you ARE going to reach your goal. But you need to KNOW and BELIEVE that you are beatiful ~ right now, in this moment, with any/all imperfections you might have and any/all things you dislike about your body/self. None of that matters, because no matter what, you are you. Thank you for your honesty, your courage, your vivaciousness, your vulnerability, your time, your creativity, your all-around amazingness... Forget change; It implies that you need to lose weight/get healthier in order to be beautiful or worthwhile or happy or whatever... Instead, here's to improving ~ making better what you've already got. Here's to becoming even more beautiful than you already are... L <3 ve you! (& I <3 the song on this video!)

Roxie said...

First of all.. you are so cute! How frickin' brave are you for doing this? I still make my husband turn the lights off for Business Time. Like he can't feel how fat I am or see me when I'm clothed.

Can't wait to see your "i've reached my goal" video. You can so do this!

Untypically Jia said...

After watching this video do you know what I noticed? You look like Anna Paquin (who is gorgeous!) in True Blood.

Seriously. And it's not one of those "well at least you have a pretty face" comments either. Sure you are being honest about your body, but please don't forget to be honest about your beauty.

Jenn said...

I recently found your blog and think you are amazing, brave and inspiring and beautiful. This post moved me to tears because I could relate to every word! You will have it in you to do what it takes to reach your goal and I know you will!

Stephanie said...

Charlie ~ Not only do I think you're brave, but you're also a very beautiful woman. I commend you for doing this. You're going to reach your goal. I have absolutely NO doubt about that. :)

Jessica | A Blog to Brag About said...

Charlie, you look GREAT! Seriously, think back on what your body looked like 70lbs ago and look at it now! And it's only gonna get better with the next 30! :)

Ginger said...

wow!! way to be that courageous and focusing on your body. that was amazing and you are so worth fighting for

Raegun said...

Hey there - thanks for your comment on my blog! This is the first time I've popped by for a visit and I am so thankful to have found your blog. I look forward to following you - you are such an inspiration!!

Bethany said...

You know what my first thought was? "Wow, she's 182 pounds? She looks GREAT!" Not even kidding. I know I'm farther away from the situation, which probably makes it easier for me to see, but you're getting really close to your goal.

You might be stuck at a plateau right now, but once you get over it (and we all know you will- you're Charlie!) you're going to get there. I can't wait to see your "I Reached My Goal" video too!!

Leebird said...

I wish we lived next-door to each other. We'd make great walking buddies.

Thanks for your honesty and your vulnerability. I love you!

Paula Rodriguez said...

Wow... amazingly raw and sincere. Words really hit home with me. Especially since I'm having a tough week and have found myself turn to food. It's tough to turn those moments around but being aware is the first step.

Proud of you for making this post. I've really stepped up the activity and in the process found that I enjoy pushing myself. I'm happier. Sure, I've got a ways to go but luving the journey.

Love your blog.
hugs paula

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