As promised. My self expose.
The most painful 10 minutes were filming it. Or so I thought, until I spent an hour and a half editing it. That was even worse. (And you can thank me for cutting some of the really gross parts. Especially when I showed how my belly could swallow the freshly plucked bellybutton. That I left out with you in mind.)
Why did I do it?
For a couple of reasons.
A) I want every woman (and the few brave men that have stuck it out through the Diva Cup posts) out there struggling with weight to know that you are NORMAL. You are NEVER ALONE in this fight. Don't like your body? Neither do I. But most of all, I don't like that my fears and my emotions have held me back for so long.
B) I think we sometimes don't have a concept of what our bodies really look like in motion. And movement makes all the difference. I personally needed a reality check.
C) Flipping that switch. Remember?
So- there's no nudity, but you will see A LOT of the real me.
Kinda freaking out, because sometimes I wonder if I take this whole "Honesty in Dieting" policy too far.
Wondering through the process of video taping myself if this is going to be a disaster.
Wishing that I was showing you my "I reached my goal" video instead of my "stuck in limbo and desperate to change" video.
But this is my body. For everything it is, for everything it's not...
It's mine to have and mine to change. It's time to be brave and show the world that me and my body are ready for some hard work.
This IS my body.
tales of the cupcake part one
2 days ago