The Healing and Restorative Powers of a Clean Slate Monday

This is a special posting for any (or all) of you who blew the diet over the weekend.

Myself included. I’m not too ashamed to admit. I blew it BIG TIME.

So welcome to the club!!!

It was just one of those weekends when I didn’t care two hoots about the diet. And I ate the things that sounded great: even though I just did that the days between September and January Christmas and New Year’s.

I know this is right about the time that we all get frustrated with ourselves and think “I may as well give up on this. I cannot diet long enough for this to work. UNCLE!”

Those words, however, are completely incorrect. Because this weekend’s events have NOTHING to do with your ability to diet. And I can prove it. Don’t believe me? Well, I’ll show you. Don’t cancel that subscription to Weight Watchers online just yet.

I am going to set up some scenarios that you can pick from. I want you to decide which one best fits your weekend.

A. You decided that French fries (or insert other non-diet food here) sounded a lot better than the stuff you have been eating for the last solid week, and went for it.

B. You had something happen this weekend that made you – pick your poison- angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad, irritated, or some other feeling- and you felt the need to eat.

C. You were genuinely hungry and ate. Maybe more than you should have, but you were STARVING!

D. You were on a horror-moan roller coaster and were a bottomless pit of hunger.

E. There is no excuse for what I ate this weekend, Charlie, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

Ok, did you pick one? Now, let’s get our hands dirty.

IF YOU PICKED A…

You decided that French fries (or insert other non-diet food here) sounded a lot better than the stuff you have been eating for the last solid week, and went for it.

I am happy to tell you this doesn’t mean you are a failure at dieting at all! It means you need more variety. Have you been eating the same foods (or even the same meals) over and over this last week? Your body is adjusting to the same ole stuff, and you need to mix it up a little. Craving junk is your body’s way of telling you it’s bored and need more variety. Lots of us gals live on Lean Cuisines and Smart Ones for a few weeks because we don’t have to think about them- just heat and consume. Imagine what would happen if you wore the same clothes day in and day out, again and again. Would the people at your office think there is something wrong? Would your family contact “What Not to Wear” on your behalf? Well your body doesn’t want the same foods over and over either. Don’t give up. Get some variety in your diet!

IF YOU PICKED B…

You had something happen this weekend that made you – pick your poison here- angry, frustrated, annoyed, sad, irritated, or some other feeling- and you felt the need to eat.

Once again, this has nothing to do with your inability to diet. It has everything to do with associating emotions with hunger. I won’t lie and tell you this is an easy fix, but it is fixable. I found out the weirdest thing the other day. Our cat (named Puppy) does not eat until I go into the kitchen. When I go into the kitchen to make coffee first thing in the morning, that’s when I feed her. She chows down. Then I go back in to make the kids’ breakfast. Puppy eats a few more bites. I go in for a glass of water to swallow some advil (for a well intended exercise gone wrong the day before) and Puppy eats. All day long she associates me entering the kitchen with eating. Emotional eating is the same way. We often have a trigger emotion that sends us straight to the cheesecake. Stop and think for a moment. What is the emotion that you associate with eating? Get a piece of paper and write it out, then stick it at eye level on your fridge and/or cabinets- wherever your food of choice resides. Look at that emotion on paper BEFORE you eat and ask yourself…am I eating because I am hungry or because I am feeling this emotion? Don’t beat yourself over the head because you cheated! Teach yourself to be aware of your emotional triggers and learn to outsmart them! And don’t give up!

IF YOU PICKED C…

You were genuinely hungry and ate. Maybe more than you should have, but you were STARVING!

Your body is going to take a while to adjust to a change of diet. Most of us associate dieting with LESS food- so we drastically cut our calories and the body goes into starvation mode. Therefore, we are hungrier than a bear waking up from hibernation in spring. One of the tricky things about diet foods (and this is where they get me too…) – all those 100 calorie packs DON’T PROVIDE NUTRITION OR FILL YOU UP. In fact, they are so full of carbohydrates and lacking in nutrition that our bodies actually burn those faster than they would something that seems less healthy, like a yogurt! Are you going to take a hit on the calorie content with a yogurt? Yes, to some degree. Will it keep you fuller longer than that 100 calorie pack of Oreo Thins? Most likely! Start looking in depth at the foods you are eating. What value do they add to your body’s ability to run smoothly? Do they provide vitamins? Nutrients? Fiber? Healthy oils? Like nuts. Pecans and almonds. (NOTE: PECAN PIE DOES NOT COUNT FOR THIS EXAMPLE…) They are higher in fat and calories than any of us would like. But an ounce of nuts will hold your hunger at bay longer than a cookie. Because they are better for your body. So start filling up on things like that. Nuts. Low fat cheeses. Even (big gulp) broccoli. Your tummy won’t be screaming at you to eat, which leads to a healthy relationship between you and your scale. You haven’t failed. You just need more fiber. Sorry if I sound like your mother!

IF YOU PICKED D… (this one is me!)

You were on a horror-moan roller coaster and were a bottomless pit of hunger.

You are getting ready to start your period. Pack your purse with Tampax and take a midol, because the flood is coming. Notice should also be given for family members and close coworkers to seek immediate shelter. (And I hope my husband reads this...consider this your warning, Babe!)

IF YOU PICKED E…

There is no excuse for what I ate this weekend, Charlie, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

The classic case of “no excuses.” I have had plenty of those days myself. And the blog readers who comment on my lamenting have reminded me that we all have bad days. Bad weeks. Bad months. It happens. You aren’t a disappointment to the diet. What you are is NORMAL. Whatever normal is… (although Patsy Clairmont said it best: "Normal is just a setting on your dryer.”) Yep. You blew it. There’s no denying that, and I won’t try to tell you it was a minor setback. Because in your mind it is a huge setback, and I completely understand. Us control freaks management types like to have all our ducks in a row. Or roasted to perfection. If we behave one way, we expect our consequences to be swift and sharp. And we take responsibility for it by kicking ourselves over and over and over (which I will remind you- DOES count as exercise!) until we have all but given up. If this is you, and you think you are the worst type of dieter, I would like to suggest something radical. It’s quite the opposite. You are the BEST kind of dieter! You and I are better suited to OWN THIS DIET than we think is possible. We don’t like messing up, it’s true, but when you start things fresh this morning, you will be more determined than ever to succeed! And that drive is going to push you across the finish line!!! I promise! So don’t even think that you can get away with quitting! It isn’t going to happen. You are going to do this thing!

Girls, if I had quit every time I failed, it would have been over before I finished typing the Yoga Incident a year ago. There have been at least 100 times I could have quit in 2009, but didn’t. I don’t know WHY I didn’t quit, but the point is that quitting was never an option for me. Failure? Most definitely, that was an option from the first “diet” meal I ever ate. But quitting isn’t allowed. Not for me, and not for you. We all need a “Clean Slate Monday” (think I should trademark that?) and we are in this together!!!

So let’s try this again this week and give ourselves some breathing room! Pretty soon our jeans will give us breathing room too!