Tuesday, November 30

Bad, Worst, Worster Still

I have been avoiding writing this post. Not because I have something I am unwilling to share, but because after 8 weeks of non-stop exercise and diet fun, I am feeling BLAH. And how interesting is blah to read about?

Yet blah is inevitable when dieting. Some days, you look at your "normal" routine, and it feels dull and boring. There are mornings I wake up, and it's not that I don't want to succeed, but it all seems so vanilla.

Is there a good way to get yourself out off the diet dull drums?

I don't know, but taking a cue from my buddy Jack Sh*t, I can think of a few bad ways.... I don't like stealing what people call segments on their blogs, so I have come up with a new name.

(FYI- from now till Christmas, each post till have a reference to Christmas. Now that it's after Thanksgiving, I can get excited. Deal with it.)

Bad, Worst, and Worster Still

Bad: Decide to change all butter and oil in your diet to olestra right before a big night out.  
Worst: Going to olestra right before flying home for the holidays.
Worster Still: Making the Christmas meal with olestra for all of your family that flew in for the holidays.

Bad: Starting a low carb diet right before the holidays.
Worst: Going diet postal from lack of carbs and breaking your diet.
Worster Still: Going diet postal from lack of carbs and eating all of the food you prepared for your Christmas dinner with the family, and you eat everything on the table except the meat, leaving them a meal of turkey. That's it.

Bad: Cutting out all sugar on your diet right before Christmas.
Worst: Eating all the candy canes off your tree that were supposed to be for the kids.
Worster Still: Cutting a hole in your Christmas tree and slurping out the sap.

Bad: Packing your own meal for a big Christmas party at someone else's house. *Technically, this isn't a "bad idea" but I needed it to open the joke. You can do this. I do this.
Worst: Forgetting your packed meal and going into someone's kitchen scavenging for foods you can eat.
Worster Still: Packing your own meal for a Christmas gathering because you know that person can't cook worth a crap. And you tell them that.

Bad: Going on a fast during the last 2 weeks of December and breaking the fast Christmas Eve.
Worst: Going on a fast the last 4 weeks of December and breaking the fast Christmas Eve.
Worster Still: Letting yourself fast for 4 weeks and get so hungry that when your kids wake up on Christmas, the kids don't have presents in boxes because you ate the boxes.

Bad: Trying to diet so you can fit in a sweater.
Worst: Trying to diet so you can fit in a Christmas sweater.
Worster Still: Trying to diet so you can fit into your Santa Suit.

I have no idea how to pull myself out of the diet BLAHs, but I think I've got a few good ideas to jump start some things. I'll fill you in on the details in a few days after I get my game plan together.


Colleen @ Goodbye, Fat Girl! said...

Can't wait to hear your game plan. I remember eating potato chips with Olestra ONCE (because hey, they were fewer calories). Notice I said ONCE? It was one of those experiences where I prayed, "Please, if I get through this, I swear I will NEVER eat those again!"

Tanya said...

Great list Charlie! Looking forward to your gameplan as well :-) I hear ya about the Vanilla-ness of it all...waiting for the new WW program to launch here in Canada this weekend - hoping that will throw some chocolate (er..I mean spice!) into things!

Anonymous said...

Blahs? What blahs? I mean, don't you just LURVE killing yourself at the gym, and running around the neighborhood like a crazed postman and counting every bite that goes in your mouth? *snort*

I hear you. I was pretty bored last week, trudging through Thanksgiving Day saying no to dessert and taking a three mile walk instead. NOW, however, I have an AWFUL head cold, and my Contrary Inner Brat Olivia can only gripe in my ear that she wants to go outside and exercise.

#cough.sniffle.cough# STUFF IT, Miss Olivia. And pass me another tissue.

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