Worth 2 in the Bush?

Today, I am going to be THAT BLOGGER.

The one who likely talks about something that makes you uncomfortable.

But I am wearing my sense of humor today, so I’m throwing caution to the wind and going with it.  I suggest you do the same.

And to keep things light and funny, this post will be brought to you in prose.

This weekend I took a short break from the grind

Of my diet and workout routines.

Because a lesson came up that threw a small wrench

In the gears of this workout machine.

It started on Thursday while in the bathtub

My sweet little razor in hand…

There deep in the tub this girl shaved all her legs,

And continued to shave no-man’s land.

I started to trim just the edges,

Around my bikini bathing suit line.

But at first glance I thought it was crooked,

So the edges I tried to refine.

I’d try to remove just a little,

From the left side first, then the right.

But before I could stop, I bald eagled it.

And thus began my strange plight.

For you see, when a girl goes this far with her bush

She will learn lessons galore,

Like adding an Always with razor burn

Will drop you down straight to the floor.

Uncomfortable doesn’t quite cover it.

In fact, of this iceberg- the TIP.

With no hair down there to help soften it-

Your pads will induce quite the grip.

On Friday while suffering through bootcamp

Oh, I learned this lesson well.

With the jumping and running and flouncing about,

I was in bikini burn heck.

Every step that I took was so painful

And left me in such agony!

I almost walked out of that exercise class

And was ready to be absentee.

But I suffered and puffed through the fire in my shorts.

Determined to get through the time-

While yanking, adjusting and grabbing my crotch

And looking a lot like a mime. (Get it? Cause mimes are always trying to get out of the box? I was trying to save my…. Ah, you get it.)

The class was soon over and I hurried home

To swiftly soothe my sour honey pot-

And grabbed me a tube of some Desitin D

And slathered that stuff on the spot.

The stinging, the pain, the sheer agony-

The suffering your pal Charlie felt

And all because I hadn’t stopped to preserve

The volume of my woman pelt.

So I took the weekend to give it a rest

In the hopes I would soon feel no pain

I’m the first to admit the thought did cross my mind

To rush the process with a bit of Rogaine.

I sat on the couch all this weekend,

Composing this blog in my head,

Mother Nature adding insult to injury.

So just like an eagle, I spread.

The lesson I learned is one you can learn too-

If you're working out avoid the chappy-

And please take a cue from your bloggity friend

Don’t EVER get too razor happy.

(PS, for enduring this post, there will be a really awesome give-away tomorrow from Mint Julep Monogramming, thanks to my buddy Hillary at The Other Mama. Start looking now at the items you like, and come back tomorrow to see how you can win!!!)