Friday, January 28

How to be a Rockstar when You Feel like a Karaoke Queen...

Today I'm feeling kinda reflective about my journey. There's lots of BIG NAME bloggers out there who get jagillions of blog hits and inspire masses of people. Me? I'm just a teeny tiny blogger with a heart of gold and a scale addiction.

So when it came to my attention that one of my sweetest and favorite friends is feeling defeated about her diet journey- it made me stop and think.

If I can't touch people in my REAL LIFE, how can I expect to reach others?

So I'm fixing that today.

To my dear friend who is stuck in a slump with the diet-
(I'm not gonna say your name but you know who you are)

I have watched you go back and forth on the diet for almost a year and a half now. You have experienced major ups and downs emotionally, an injury that really set you back, and now I am seeing that you are kinda giving up.

Honey- I understand. 100%. I've been there too.

And I wouldn't be worried about it, except that we have had this discussion lots of times. I know you want this. For you. For your family. For your life.

I see you kicking yourself over and over again because of the weight you have "put back on." Like that makes you a failure or something. But it doesn't make you a failure anymore than wearing foil on your head makes you an alien!!! You aren't failing at all. You are just being challenged!!!

I'm the first to admit it's incredibly frustrating. Cause I know. I've been stuck on plateau after plateau. I've lost and gained the same 10 pounds too many times to count. Does that mean I've failed?


Do I feel like a failure sometimes when I think about it?


Somehow, we have to change our mindset. If we go into this whole business of losing weight thinking "I CAN do it!" then we set ourselves up for failure. If we say "I'll NEVER do it!" then we don't really start running with the option to lose weight at all.

What we have to say is "I WILL TRY MY BEST TO DO THIS. NO MATTER WHAT."

When we say that we will try no matter what, that gives us freedom to explore our choices. To have good days that bolstier our confidence. To have bad days without beating ourselves up so much we give up.

We can think of every single excuse in the world to NOT do it. That's why dieting is a trillion dollar business. They bank on the fact people are going to give up on themselves long before they lose weight, and they become official Yo-Yo dieters, bouncing from one program to the next, dropping money instead of pounds.

But you? YOU???

You are better than that. You are a wonderful person who has turned your life around. I've seen it. You've become a wonderful woman who loves deeply. Who cares for others beyond their wildest dreams. You showed up at my door and loved me exactly as I was.

And it's about time I returned the favor.

My sweet friend- you have every reason in the world to NOT focus on your health. I know that. But because I know exactly what you are capable of, I don't want you to give up. I know if you set your mind to it, you can do amazing things. You can get your body into better shape. You can make yourself more mobile and strong. You can make the outside match that INSANELY FANTASTIC PERSON YOU ARE on the inside. I'm not calling you out on this because you need to change. I'm calling you out on it because there's no reason in the world you couldn't change.

I love you dearly and completely. Just as you are. And even if you say "Charlie, I'm finished." then I'd still want to have lunch with you. And call you. And maybe even take walks when the weather warms up. Because you are important to me.

But I want to make sure you know that even if you don't believe in yourself right now-

I have faith in you.

I'm begging you--- don't give up on yourself.

I know we started off as Karaoke Queens back in the day. We partied and goofed off and made lots of memories we probably won't ever repeat unless we are alone or with folks we trust.

But now- right here- today- we have the chance to be Rockstars. To be really awesome and help others believe in their dreams. You helped me when I was struggling because you never gave up. You were a good example when I was sneaking oreos. You made me feel like a winner before I ever was one. Well, guess what?

YOU ARE A WINNER TOO. No matter what you think, I know you are!

So please, brush yourself off, don't listen to the negative voices you hear, and just TRY. Just start taking those baby steps again. Putting one foot in front of the other. Slowly, thoughtfully- you know how it works. I'm gonna say it again.





Much much much much much love-
Charlie (who's hopefully still gonna be your friend after this) 


alyse said...

charlie, you such an amazing colorful person. Very inspirational. I'm 100% sure you brightened your friends day with this.

Danielle said...

I'm sending your friend one of my cyber-super-big hugs! And I am not a hugging person, but you make sure she gets it for me. I know all about the up and down and up and down and up and down... Been there, do it still...

Charlie's friend... keep at it, girl. Don't give up. You CAN do it. Take it one day at a time. One ounce at a time. I don't know if you are a believer or not, but if so... you know that you are a conqueror in Christ. You can do it with His strength. If you are not a believer, I pray that God gives you strength anyway and through it all, you may come to know that Power belongs to Him and HE LOVES YOU NO MATTER WHAT!!!!

Andrew @ 100 Pounds said...

Very touching post. To your friend, I have only one tiny bit of wisdom.

We only fail until we don't. Each time you try and don't succeed, you are learning for the next time.

I've had my share of failures. And I know they hurt. But I'm learning the world doesn't judge us for our failures. The world judges us on how we pick ourselves up.

We're in this together.

Nicole said...

It started so hilarious with, "It's like pretending I'm Rodeo Drive whilst sporting my JC Penny collection"... and then became SO heart-warming. Hang in there, Charlie's friend!

Everyone has setbacks, but as long as you are trying you are succeeding, and the weight will follow! :)

Auntie Em said...

love it!

Lynda with a Y said...

what a nice friend you are. I'm pretending you wrote this note to me.

Karen said...

What a great post:) And, you never know who you are reaching out here!

Anonymous said...

You are the absolute best friend ever, Charlie! What a great post.

Julie said...

If I were your friend, this just might be what I needed to grab my boot straps and have a go at my life style change again. She can do this, she has your support and love and that's what friends are for and like you said, if she's'll love her no matter what.
I can to do some voting and then your blog sucked me in to read some more. Take care and have a blessed evening.

FatAngryBlog said...

What an incredible, loving, supportive and honest post! I think I should bookmark it for those days where I start struggling!

Lauren Thomas said...

I seriously wish you were my BFF!

Oh and your post made me think of something I'm working on:

All we can do is give our best each day. That way, when we lay down at night, we can rest easy knowing that for today, we did our best, and we'll try again and harder tomorrow. One day at a time is all we can focus on.

billiec2000 said...

I can't imagine that anyone would be mad over this, Charlie. I once read a quote that said, "being deeply loved by someone gives you strength..." Surely, you have given your friend the strength to continue by demonstrating your love for her!

By the way, you don't have to be a megablogger to touch lives. Even if you say just one thing that means something to someone, you've succeeded. And I know that you have! =)

Maria said...

Sending prayers and love to your friend! And gee, I wanna be Charlie's friend. She gives out so much love! *hugs Charlie*

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