The NEW Program, and McMuscles' Triumphant Return

Not weighing myself has been interesting. On one hand, I feel like I’m missing some important pieces of my day. On the other hand, I feel more at peace, I am striving harder to make better choices, and already 2 days later, I feel empowered.

One of the things Karen (who, we learned last post, has given up weighing herself) keeps reminding me about is “You have to love yourself.”

So instead of planning everyday to focus on what can I do to drop the pounds, I’m making other plans. And I’m going to share this “new program” with you.

It goes a little something like this.

Love. Laugh. Lose.

LOVE: Every day, I am striving to make one decision that allows me to foster love towards myself. It could be plucking my eyebrows (or chin or bellybutton… sigh), shaving my legs, painting my nails, trying a new hair style, spending an hour doing something reading a book- whatever. I need to remember that if I don’t love myself as I am right now, it’s not going to matter if I change or not. If I can’t love me today, I’m still going to struggle with it tomorrow. Or next year when I’m really fit! So I need to make the conscious choice to love the Charlie I have today.

LAUGH: Everyday, I’m going to find something to laugh about. It could be reading a blog that cracks me up, watching something I consider funny, starting a ridiculous conversation on Facebook (are you my friend on FB yet? If not- you should be!), or even acting out a funny scene with my hubby. (we do crazy stuff like that) I’m the kind of person that NEEDS to laugh. Heck, even my blood type is B positive! So every day, I’m making a point to find laughable joy and hang on to it.

LOSE: Each day, I am going to do something that will help me be more fit. Maybe one day it’s planning out my meals in advance for the week. Maybe it’s bootcamp. Or lifting weights. Or running. Or being diligent about good food choices. Even saying no to cake counts in this department.

What did I do yesterday to check off my choice for the “lose” category?

It’s funny you should ask that!

I made the plan to go to bootcamp. Normally I put the kids on the bus, then sit around and drink coffee for an hour, checking FB and emails. Then I look at the clock, realize I have 15 minutes to get to bootcamp, and decide to skip it. Instead, yesterday I dressed for the workout before the coffee had fully kicked in, shoes and all. So all I had to do was brush my teeth. This made my morning go a lot smoother, and I was excited! I was also kinda nervous- as this was my first bootcamp back since Thanksgiving- and my intestines proved it. I hate the nervous poops.

So there I was 20 minutes before going to bootcamp, in the bathroom giving myself a PTA bath (if you don’t know what that is, I bet you can google it!) concentrating on the A. I’m a bit neurotic about copious sweating that could give off the fact I was experiencing intestinal distress before I arrived. In other words, I scrub my bum with soap before working out because I’m considerate to others olfactory nerves.

I get to bootcamp, and the class is moving downstairs. Which is fine with me. I have hearing loss in one ear, and the gym echos really badly so I never hear what’s going on. We were going downstairs to the small room. WITH MIRRORS. Being the only “non-thinny” in the class, this caused me considerable stress. I’ve made the joke that all my loose skin and flab jiggling around is everyone else’s problem because I don’t have to see it. But yesterday, it was my problem too.

About the time I started making plans to make my escape, my buddy Alyson showed up.

Remember her?

She’s a thinny, but she also is a goofball. To 11. And thank heavens she is, because I needed her at that moment. Even if she did pick the spot where she couldn’t see herself in the mirror. I forgave her for that. Hee hee!

So we started the class, and it’s going well. I’m focused, I’m sweating, and I’m conveniently hiding myself behind the one guy in the class so I don’t see myself in the mirror. I also was staring at his back (and backside) so I wouldn’t look at the mirror. It’s going pretty well, until he shifted his position. To the right.

And only me and the mirror were left.

Now, our instructor Abby had been yelling out the words “If you need to pull back on the intensity, you can do this instead.”

But I hadn’t realized she might have been talking to me.

Until I saw my face in the mirror.

Bright red doesn’t even come close to describing it. So I’m giving you a visual of how I looked.

Yeah, about like that. But did that slow me down?

OH HECK NO.

I kept pushing it. I fought and struggled my way through that bootcamp, with Alyson by my side, cracking jokes to take our mind off the pain.

Charlie: My poise pad is full!

Alyson: Then don’t JUMP!

Stuff like that. We conquered the class, and at the end of it, we felt accomplished. Even if we couldn’t do the planks off of our knees.

I came home and did some general goofing off, and the kids came home. I snacked them (no not smacked- SNACKed), had them do homework, and tried to figure out the rest of the game plan.

I decided it was high time to get back to weight lifting. I mean, I was already going to be sore from bootcamp in the morning, I might as well go for broke. So I texted McMuscles. (this is him. He's HUGE)

This was the text I sent: "My muscles miss you. Wanna workout tonight?”

Now, if it had been any other man on the planet, this text could have been misinterpreted. But McMuscles, ever the gentleman, didn’t let on that he took it any other way than how I meant it. Innocently.

He sent a text back and said “Glad to have you back. I’ll be there.”

It was at this point I remembered my husband wasn’t coming home after work. In fact, he was going to be gone until late. (He was doing voice overs for a friend’s commercial) And now I was scrambling because I had 3 kids to deal with, 2 of whom were not interested in supporting Mama’s desire to work out.

So I called my sister in law, who took the 2 little guys, and Amy and I headed to the YMCA. Amy likes to sit on the bikes in the Y and text. Just like I taught her.

And McMuscles and I had a happy reunion. It had been a full month since the last time I worked out with him. I gotta give the man props- he is fiercely loyal.

Being on the “boys side of the room” I get lots of stares. Even still. And as I was bench pressing my little heart out, a couple of his friends walked by and said “Hey Don! (Don is McMuscles’ REAL NAME) Are you working right now?” Insinuating that I was a client that had hired him to train me. Otherwise why would he be working out with me?

McMuscles puffed up a little bit and said, “No, I’m just working out with my partner!”

I cannot describe to you the level of awesome I felt when he said that.

And because he publicly verified me as his partner, I worked 10 times harder than I wanted too. Because I wasn’t going to embarrass him now.

I even did the dreaded “preacher curl” machine. We had both forgotten our experience with it the last time, but I didn’t care. I was going to push myself to the brink and hit muscle failure. Which I did.

Finally, my muscles gave out on my chest, biceps, triceps and shoulders. And I told McMuscles I was crying uncle.

It was a good day.

I followed my new program of LOVE, LAUGH, and LOSE.

Today I am hurting all over. Big time. But I’m still gonna at least do Fat Girl Yoga. And keep this going. Because I feel better about myself than I have in months.

LOVE, LAUGH and LOSE is definitely the way to go.