Monday, March 29

What floats? Witches! Tiny rocks! And maybe… a little hope!

I am not the best person to have in a hot seat. I am all about conflict diffusion. I want everyone to get along. I want everyone to see the best in everyone else. I want there to be free coca-colas in glass bottles and rainbows and butterflies.

What do I usually get instead?

A hot mess while in the hot seat.

I got called a witch yesterday by someone who doesn’t even know me at all. I got some pretty harsh words flung my way by a few others. And I also got something else I didn’t bargain for!

I got hope and peace.

Yep, it came out of no where. As I was taking a bath after bawling about the entire day’s events into Matt’s chest hair (as is the custom in this house) I got that wonderful warm feeling that can only come from the throne of God.

I was reminded about the parable of the rich man (and I promise this has everything to do with dieting) who asked Jesus what he must do to enter the kingdom of heaven. (Mark 10:17-24) Jesus tells the man to obey the 10 commandments. The man replies that he does that already. So Jesus tells him to sell everything he has and give it to the poor. And the man walks away. His life is still full of stuff, but it’s safe to say that he leaves Jesus empty handed.

The man’s intentions were good- he wanted to become a disciple and go to heaven. But he wasn’t willing to make the necessary sacrifices to get to the final stretch. And with that realization, God pricked my heart as He often does.

“You know I want this for you. I know you want this for you. So when are you going to take that final plunge? When are you going to give the final piece of your heart and let me shine through you?”

To be honest, I didn’t really have an answer for Him. Because I was too busy crying all over again.

Sunday was a hard day anyway you look at it. We had some family issues to be taken care of that have been a long time coming, but today was a day of finality and decisions. Reality was already kicking me in the teeth. I was reminded that our house is crappy, our furniture is crappy, and that my grandmother is in poor health. The grandmother that is my genetic twin, who I am very much like- I can sense that we are coming close to the end for her. And I don’t want to lose her.

I am PMSey, which didn’t help matters at all, people were calling me names and accusing me of things that were stealing my joy- and then God is bugging me about surrender with the weight.

I wanted to shout “WORLD GO AWAY” from the safety of my bath tub.

Instead, I could only look down at my flabby belly floating in the water and be humble.

Because when we look at the truth- it doesn’t matter how many women I have inspired to help lose weight. It matters that there is discord with ones who need a friend.

And I wasn’t willing to be a friend. I wanted to be mad. I wanted to be hurt. I wanted to fill up a bathtub of tears.

Because sometimes a girl just need to have a moment. A moment to break down and feel the frustration of what the world is throwing at her. The sticks and stones of hurtful words. And the tiny rocks that land in your shoes. Those little ones hurt the worst.

My goal has never been to alienate on this blog. I have tried very hard to encourage people of any weight, any size, any religion, any persuasion, any lifestyle. I have never wanted people to feel like they were rejected. I wanted this blog to be a safe haven for all.

Unfortunately, with our Flab to FAB challenge, we picked people to join us on our 8 week journey. And when people didn’t get picked, they picked on us.

Where is this blog going? I think here….

If I am truly willing to devote myself to this weight loss journey, then no amount of naysayers can stop me. I have to hand over the things I am clinging to- like approval of people, trying to please man, and those doggone oreos- and focus on one thing.


I am not losing weight so I can just be skinny. I am losing weight so that I can allow Him to shine through my victory. I want to show others that character is found in all things- on your plate, in the way you speak about others, in the forgiveness you extend and ask for in return. That who you serve makes all the difference.

So I spent the last hour writing encouraging comments on the blogs of people who were (and some who were not) being nice to me. Some were short, some were long. But every last one was sincere. Because character can shine no matter what. Even if you had to cry your eyes out to find it. The tears just make it shine a little brighter.

And what ended up happening was I felt peace. I felt restoration! I was reminded of how far God has brought me on this weight loss journey, and how by HIS UNREASONABLE GRACE ALONE- I am still fighting this battle. And it’s almost won.

So today- let’s do something new. Let’s each say 3 nice things to people you may or may not know. Encourage them. Speak life into their bones. Show kindness, even if it isn’t reciprocated. Let’s show the world what kind of characters we crazy gals really are!!!!

Project “Pass out HOPE” has officially begun!

How will you pass out hope today?


Untypically Jia said...

Not sure how I will pass out hope, but at least I know where I can get some from. *Hugs*

♥ you Charlie.

Orange Juice said...

When I read this it reminded me about the parable of the talents. You didn't take the easy way and bury yours Charlie. You are multiplying by surrendering and offering up your talents.. by building a community for us to be inspired and supported.

Your love, commitment, CHARACTER and truth will shine through.

Anonymous said...

I'm so proud of you! ~ Julia

Mari said...

Sorry about your struggle, but God seems to have given you the joy in the journey. I love your posts, they are so real and refreshing. Praying for a great week for you, and that you will shine for Him now and forevermore. (hugs)

trimadsco said...

Hang in there girl! I'm so sorry for what you have been through. It's tough dealing with aging parents/grandparents - and to have other "drama" thrown in with it is just awful. I think you are an awesome person - who encourages me not just w/ a weight loss number, but most importantly in a Godly walk. You keep on doing what you are doing!

Katie said...

You are doing what is best for you - keep on keeping on and never worry about what others think. The fact is a game, a competition...and we are all in it for the same reason. Just keep your chin up and keep on truckin'.

The words my mom always taught me, "jealousy will get you no where" comes to mind.

I saw the words you are speaking of and while I was a little surprised they were put out there - who cares...I lose blog giveaways and other competitions all the is just part of life and the fact is,...not everyone can be picked! Just part of the game.

Don't let others kick you down....just look ahead and at your goal and don't worry about anyone else!

I'm still going to beat all of you... :)


Amanda said...

Hi Charlie,
Thanks for commenting on my blog. I've spent the past day looking at some of the things other said about the Flab to Fab contest and how it was unfair. However, I wanted to let you know that I support your decision. Clearly 50 people (or however many applied) couldn't all be a part of the competition...that would be ridiculous. I think there was a case of sore losers.

So while I'm a little sad I didn't get picked, I understand and know it's nothing personal. The truth is, I've been ready to lose weight for awhile now and this was a kick in the butt for me. However, this does not mean I was only planning on losing weight because of the competition, but I want to lose weight for me. And I'm still going to do this, blog competition or not.

So thank you for being an inspiration and I look forward to following along with the competition!


lani said...

I can not believe that you were so hurt by a utube spin off of the biggest loser....It is all in gods hand no matter what we do....and if a little humor is taken and spun into a vendetta who is the biggest loser? You need to know that this competation is far from fair ( loved the donation of prize)and if I can spin some humor and more competation into it great..lets all kick but and loose weight not our minds....If you took the time to know me and my story you would know this is about the fun and the laughs not hurt or the way maybe I can forward some of the really awful hate mail I have gotten from your F2F fans..and I have never had to monitor my comments on my blog don't hear me complaining ......Learn to laugh..... life is to short....God Bless

Beverlydru said...

This is a very meaningful post on several levels. I love "Project Pass Out Hope". Just beautiful. I appreciate your transparency on matters of the heart and relate to the "trying to please everyone" and not able to pull it off syndrome. Press on. Your life makes a difference.

Shamberly Coleman said...

Charlie, this is AWESOME! I am so glad and thankful that God spoke to you through all of the "crud" that life throws. What an amazing testimony and light for Him to share! I am proud to call you my friend (even if it is just via the internet for the time being!) and sister in Christ.

Hopefully, some of those negative people out there will pick up on some of the joy and hope you are spreading ~ thanks for doing what you do. You rock!!! God bless you ~ you're in my prayers!!!

Danielle said...

Girl, I'm not even going to go there because I can feel the hackles rising and my flesh wants to take over.

Know that you have my support... NO MATTER WHAT!

God has called you into this for a purpose... He alone will dictate what happens. Not anyone else.

Love you, My Butterfly Sister!;-)

Mary @ Giving Up On Perfect said...

Wow. I go away for one weekend and come home to find my friend Charlie getting picked on?

Okay, I won't get into all the drama. I just wanted to send you a big ol' bloggy HUG. So, consider yourself HUGGED. :)

stac0904 said...

Awesome blog, great lesson about life and showing God's love to others! Those of us who know you, know that you are always laughing and spreading joy! Keep it up girly you are AMAZING!!!!

Angela said...

I'm so glad that you started the challenge, even if I didn't get picked! It's great to have a bunch of ladies to go on this weight loss journey with. I know that we all can make fabulous prgoress together! Smiles and Hugs!!

Anonymous said...

Ok I'm sorry but I've thought about this and I am totally going there! Lani is acting like a spoiled selfish child and it's annoying! Grow up!

I'm so tired of people bullying others around or taking their hurt feelings out on everyone else because they didn't get their way about something. BOO HOO!!

You know darn well she was upset about the fact that you called those girls witches and attacked her and April personally; not that you did a poor rendition of the biggest loser, so let's just be honest about that Mmmmkay! And for the record it's LOSE not LOOSE. You should seriously consider proofing your blog the next time you throw around insults you want everyone to read.

You have a BMI of 24 do you really think you need a weight loss contest? Seriously? Come on lady! It even mentioned in the rules that they were looking for people with some real weight to lose; those preferably with BMI's over 25. In case you're math is as good as your use of the English language, that doesn't include you. It would be much more productive if you switched all of your efforts into dropping that last 20lbs instead of pissing and moaning about not being chosen for a blog contest. Clearly she made the right decision in not picking you since this is supposed to be a healthy competition meant to motivate and encourage women, not destroy them.

Charlie, good for you for taking the high road. I guess shame on me, but I don't think I'm the only one that felt this way. You're doing a great thing and don't let anyone put doubt in your mind about that.


Anonymous said...

Amen!! I had the same conversation w/Charlie the other day. :) You definately posted what people were thinking. We are not in high school anymore, grow up!

Charlie have fun w/competition. Good luck to everyone on their journey.

Tricky Nikki

Chrissy said...

Charlie you are awesome and what you said totally inspired me. I have been falling away from God in many ways...which leads me to be less than perfect.

T is also awesome! For once again someone stating the stuff I want to say - but the way I would say it would come out way different. Just ask Jia.

I joined this because it was all about being positive for each others sake. We are all women and make enough drama in life...why do we need more here? Go Me! Go You!

Elizabeth said...

OK, I have no idea what is going on here. I feel like I just walked into a HS hallway and found the end of a fight, watching the kids getting carted off the the office and me asking, "Who was it?" Anywho, I loved your line on tears making it shine a little brighter. And so good that you learned and grew from the experience (whatever it was). That's what God asks of us: learn, grow, serve. You did all three.

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